All I'll Ever Need
by cantwebeseventeen
Summary: As Barney holds Ellie for the first time, he thinks back to his wedding day, his love for Robin, and whether it will ever go away. (One Shot)


**Hi and thanks for checking out my story! I do not own any characters from How I Met Your Mother, as much as I'd like to :) Please let me know what you think! Thanks **

All I'll Ever Need

And there she was. In the midst of the craze of the moment, she reminded me of none other than Robin. Wow. Robin. I could only think back to the happiest moment of my life, when she walked down that aisle, her eyes full of hope, and her love for me.

My heart began beating faster as my mind jumped back to that day. I looked at her and I was the most happy I had ever been. She looked excited. Not scared. Not anxious. Not holding on to her dad for dear life. She looked excited, and God so did I.

That whole weekend I had been having breakdowns over that wedding. I would look in the mirror every morning and wonder, what am I doing? I couldn't go through with this. I was throwing my awesomeness away. Marriage? The one thing I swore I would never fall into? I had to get out of it. I itched for relief from the bondage that was my wedding day. I begged for the familiar, for bimbos, meaningless sex, the single life. In those moments I swear I could have banged both receptionists and still had time to dash from the church. But then I thought of Robin. God, Robin. There was nothing I wouldn't give up for her. Nothing I wouldn't do. She was the most incredible person I had met in my entire life, and to this day, it's still true. She was and still is, indescribably and perfectly… awesome. I wanted her. I wanted nothing than to be with her for as long as I live, and just knowing she was in the opposite room, and that she felt the same way, was motivation enough for me to carry on. I actually loved her. Something I had never really felt before. Sure, my family means more to me than the world, but Robin… Robin was different. Robin accepted and appreciated every dark crevice of me, didn't judge me, wasn't disgusted by me. I never had really had that before. I loved her… so much, more than I had ever loved anybody.

And as the sting of Marshall's final slap began to wear off, there she was. She was the most beautiful I had ever seen her, and knowing that in a couple minutes, she and I would be married, made me giddy with excitement.

She came to me and I couldn't help but beam.

"Hi."

"Hi."

This was it, and I knew then, in the comfort and security of her eyes, that it was all going to be okay. We were going to be awesome together, for all time.

I thought Robin would be all I ever needed. All I would ever want for the rest of my life. She couldn't have kids. But she meant so much more to me than the thought of having kids. As much as I wanted it, for both of us, she was all I needed. The sad part was, I wasn't all she needed. And I understand. But as I looked into the eyes of the baby in my arms- my daughter, I realized that I could live with that. Ellie, in that moment, became all I needed, because Robin couldn't be. Robin and I were going to be awesome together, grow old together, play laser tag till we died together, but it just goes to show that life gets in the way of our plans.

It still hurts to look back to that weekend. It hurts to see the hope and our excited looks in the wedding album. It hurts to know Robin locked her wedding album in storage, because she couldn't bare to look at it anymore. It hurts to think back at the moments before the wedding, when both Robin and I had the instinct to run away, because in the long run, maybe we should have. No. My marriage to Robin were the best three years of my life, and I do not regret a second of them. It's so hard to think how astounded we would have been, if I went back in time to tell past us that we would get divorced, three short years from then. Well… maybe they wouldn't be so astounded. Maybe it would just be a confirmation of their prior predictions. All I know is, seeing the hope in her beautiful eyes that day, made me tear up a little, although nobody noticed (thank god). I just knew that day would be the best of my life, and to be honest, it was. But as I'm holding Ellie, in this hospital room, looking into the eyes of the life that I created, I think my wedding day has something to contend with.

Robin was and still is the love of my life. I will never stop loving her, no matter how far we grow apart. But as much as I love her, I need to move on. I know that. Everybody in the gang knows that. And know I know exactly how. My daughter will grow up with a father. A father who will be there for every birthday, every ballet recital, whenever or however she needs him. She will grow up in a house of hope and most importantly, honesty, because lies only hurt and damage, as I've learned. She will grow up loved, unconditionally and irretrievably, to the best of her father's ability. And she will grow up awesome, not because of her accomplishments in her career (which will definitely be professional bull fighting), absolutely and definitely not because of her romantic or sexual conquests (unlike her father), but because of her loyalty and strength, and love (like Robin Scherbatsky).

Ellie Stinson will be there for me, and I for her.

And it will be

Legen…

Wait for it

Dary


End file.
